


Thoughts that Keep Us Awake

by livelovelaw



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelovelaw/pseuds/livelovelaw
Summary: During the night after the battle of Crait, Ben is not aware that Rey visits him while he’s sleeping and Rey is not aware that Ben visits her while she too is asleep, and they share to each other their feelings, hoping that none of them wakes up and hears it.





	Thoughts that Keep Us Awake

There are things in life that we are bound not to understand. Like why am I here, right now, staring at you as you sleep. Your messed up black hair on your face while you curl like a child in your bed. 

I never wanted to see you again.  
But why is the force still connecting us?

You killed them - the Resistance, hunted them down like the predator that you are. But we survived, and we will hunt you back. Because we are the spark that will light the fire that would burn the First Order down. 

I loathe you. I know you know that. You feel it within your bones just as I feel the fear in your heart. Are you scared? Why are you scared? Is it because you know that I’m coming for you? 

This anger in my heart, it seeps through every inch of my body. You betrayed my trust, manipulated me to join the dark side. You will pay for everything, I will make sure of it. I will not stop until I plunge a saber on your beating heart. 

What is this? Why are you fidgeting while you sleep? A distressed expression plastered on your face. Are you having a nightmare? Ah you do. 

You deserve it. You, a monster; a master manipulator. You deserve all the cruelty in this world. You deserve to be alone. 

I want you to be alone.  
So leave me alone.  
But why is the force still connecting us?

—

There are things in life which I would like to understand. Like why am I here, right now, watching you sleep on that hideous thing you call a bed. 

I wanted to see you again.  
And I thank force for connecting us, yet again.

I did what I had to do. Obliterate the past and bring a new order to the galaxy. To rule together, you and I; standing side by side as all cower in fear to our dominance. 

But you left me; you wouldn’t let go. You were still holding on. 

This anger in my heart, it seeps through every inch of my body. I despise you. I will destroy you. I want you and everyone you love to burn in that piece of junk. I will make sure that garbage of a ship will be torn into million pieces, like asteroids floating mindlessly in space. 

But this resolve, my once strong resolve for your destruction has fled my heart. One look at your face and the anger has dissipated, as if it had never existed before. 

What have you done to me? 

This jedi, my greatest enemy, is also greatest weakness. So you can do it, give in to the anger in your heart. Do not stop until you have plunged a saber into my heart. You say I deserve it. I do deserve it. 

End me if you must. Because I will not fight you. I cannot fight you. Never would I ever hurt you. 

So kill me, so that I will leave you alone.  
But please, I beg you, do not leave me alone.


End file.
